The Ranch Meet The Team FAQ Virtual Tour Merch

#49: What, exactly, is a timeshare?


#82: How long is the timeshare presentation? Is it really 90 minutes?

Yes, the timeshare presentation is 90 minutes. If the timeshare presentation happens to end before 90 minutes, we will all sit in silence until we reach the 90 minute mark. If the timeshare presentation is not over at 90 minutes, our stage manager Dario will blow their airhorn, admonish us harshly for failing at our task, and we will exit the playing arena. At the culmination of the 90 minute timeshare presentation, everyone who remains in the room will receive a gift bagsket.


#111: Why Buffalo Bailey's?


#9: What is a gift bagsket?

It is a similar to a gift basket, however the gift is in a bag shape.


#113: What Is Buffalo Bailey's?


#77: What is in the gift bagsket?

It's a surprise.


#2: Can I Get Out of My Timeshare Contract?


#23: If it's a surprise, how do I know I even want a gift bagsket?

You want one, trust us.


#56: Hey, Alex, Why The Long Face?


#145: If I want to give an enormous amount of money in support of Buffalo Bailey's Ranch for Gay Horses, Troubled Teen Girls and Other, where can I do this?

Please wire via PayPal.


#1: Bailey, I want to talk to you about this thing I am seeing on the Internet? Is it real? I don't understand what's going on with your Facebook nowadays... what's the deal with the gay horses?

Hi! My name is Buffalo Bailey and I am owner and proprietress of a small gay horse ranch deep in the wild, wild midwest. At first we functioned solely as a gay horse sanctuary for twenty gay horses. Then, due to mismanagement, we ran out of money. Next, we brought in some troubled teen girls, roughly a dozen at any given time, for six week therapy sessions with the gay horses. They leave smiling and cured, and in return we receive US American dollars from their disturbed and desperate fathers. However, in 2007, our mortgage rate ballooned because the ranch was purchased on a subprime mortgage. Therapy would no longer pay our bills. We decided to turn the operation into a timeshare ranch resort because what better time to buy a week-long vacation home for your family and friends? Now we have over 12 members of the Buffalo Bailey Timeshare Program and counting. Please join and help save the ranch!


#146: Is it true that you have seceded from the United State of America?

Yes. Thank you!


#33: I want to buy a t-shirt that says "I'M GRADUATING EARLY BECAUSE I'M BISEXUAL." Can you help me?

Yes! Buffalo Bailey Official Merch is Coming Soon!